By Tony Millar

The man entering my counselling room was built like a brick wall. Bits of metal were strategically pierced into his face and he had colourful tattoos on his bare arms. But within one minute he was sobbing, saying he couldn’t cope, everything was on top of him. He was confused, upset, and frightened.

As a counsellor, I give stress seminars to companies and other groups. As a workplace chaplain, I find people woefully ignorant of the effects of stress. Worse, many people do not recognise how badly they are suffering until they near breakdown. Men are even less likely to ask for help.

So what exactly is stress? We have all experienced how our bodies react to fear. We react to stress in similar ways. Confronted by stress we usually respond by either Fight or Flight Syndrome. But all this often ends up by causing more stress and avoiding what it is that is actually causing the stress.

In a stressful situation, breathing speeds up to capture maximum oxygen, blood is quickly sent to the muscles, it clots faster, blood pressure rises, perspiration cools the body allowing it to burn more energy, digestion slows down, sugar and fats enter the blood like fuel to increase strength and energy. All of our senses work better, we may have a desire to defecate, urinate, our hands and feet become colder. The causes can be many. Bereavement, Divorce, Separation, Inprisonment, Loss of job, Moving house, Marriage, Personal injury, Money worries, Relationships, Work and more.

Medical people consider that stress can contribute to, Allergies, asthma, migraines, irritable bowel syndrome, eczema, psoriasis, and heart disease. Sufferers may experience; backache, chest pains, constipation, diarrhoea, fast shallow breathing. Emotionally they may find themselves expressing anger, crying, depression, may smoke and drink more, and develop nervous habits. And if stressful situations continue other negative states may develop such as negative thinking, over-generalising, use of words like Never, Always, Nobody, Everybody, Self-Blame; assuming everyone agrees with your own negative opinion of yourself.

Those most prone to burn out are Priests, counsellors, doctors, chaplains, spiritual directors, nurses, and others in the helping professions. “Burnout” is a state of fatigue or frustration brought about by a determined dedication to a cause, way of life, relationship, which has not produced the expected reward. It is experienced by well-intentioned people trying to attain goals but expending all their energy in a way that eventually loses touch with themselves and with others. It often results in ‘emotional exhaustion’.

Our devotion to something begins with a period of high hopes and energy. We rely on our ego to achieve, but begin to stagnate when expectation does not reflect effort. Enthusiasm fades, generosity of spirit declines, guilt, and loss of self-esteem, ensue. We become frustrated, doubts about our effectiveness creep in. We become apathetic and let go of emotional rapport with others. In other words we function without a giving heart. We feel overloaded and cannot say ‘No’ and just ‘go through the motions’. This is when most people might seek intervention.

The spiritual effects of burn out can mean that physical sickness is common and psychological problems can be expected. We cannot function normally. There will be a tendency to reject anything, which might threaten control of our sense of security. There may follow the feeling of humiliation and failure; fear, anger, hurt, will often be repressed. Desolation, powerlessness and deep sadness will replace energy, joy, and peace and spiritual things will hold little attraction. The world the flesh and the devil seem very attractive!

But here is the Good News! With therapeutic help, a heartfelt desire for God may return. Life can become more Christ centred.

Tony Millar lives in Barrow in Furness and is a Counsellor and Counselling Supervisor, and Workplace Chaplain. tonymillar@tiscali.co.uk