Philip Conner

My heart was racing as the procession of altar servers, deacons, priests and bishop moved towards the church door. There I was in the midst of this procession, a procession that would lead me to the foot of the altar, my profession of vows, and my ordination to the diaconate. I was fully aware of my whole life behind me and the life that would now lie before me. When one thinks about it with the mind, it is an overwhelming thought. But in my heart, it was something to reach out to, Somone to reach out to, in love, and then it all became possible.

My ordination to the diaconate had been the culmination of a long, and at times hesitant, journey. Before I went to university, I had felt stirrings in my heart - nothing too dramatic - that God might be calling me to serve Him in a special way. And these stirrings just would not go away. I have always loved the outdoors - the mountains, the hills, the wild places - and most weekends at university I would disappear off into the Scottish Highlands with friends. It was in those wild places that the sense of God calling me deepened as I pondered my life, its meaning and its direction. This eventually led me to Durham where I began studying for the priesthood in the seminary. Seminary is a time of preparation. There was much that I found challenging, but I was always reminded that when God calls, He always provides the grace to respond. And looking back, I can see how God gave me so many good friends, so many opportunities to deepen my love for the Church through prayer and study, and so many possibilities to encounter people in parishes, schools, prisons, on pilgrimages, and in placements overseas. This final year I have been able to complete my studies in the diocesan house of formation in Cleator. It has also given me the possibility of working in the parish, an experience that has really brought me on, confirming and encouraging me in what I was doing. When I first stepped out on this road, I had a great sense of what I was doing, what I was giving up. But through time I have begun to see that all these things are nothing compared to what has been given to me. God can never be outdone in generosity!